Birthdays...

So, its my birthday in 24 days... I'm going to be 31 this year. I always like to take time each year around my birthday and reflect on what the last year has meant to me, what I've accomplished or not attempted. Last year was a great big whirlwind tour of my life - living in Melbourne, having my parents come to visit, going through the angst of AFL finals, working at Dun & Bradstreet and making a great living at a really very easy and simple job. I loved my life, my friends, my day to day everything. I officially turned 30 with Kat and Kip at some grotty pub in Melbourne where we got well pissed on beer and manky champagne - and then had to get up to do things with Mum and Dad. All in all it was a great time. This year... Well, a somewhat different tale, I'm (kinda) afraid to report. I'm living in a pretty deranged environment that is not conducive to living the kind of life I want to lead, working at a job I don't care for (but I'm unfortunately good at), see less of the friends I want to see and have lost a great deal of my inspiration for what was good in my life. I'm at times lonely, withdrawn and crabby with the world. On the other hand I have quit smoking, paid off nearly all my bills, had one of my photos appear on the Oprah.com website, had some interesting and fun times with some people along the way and I'm really ready for whatever the next stage of my life will be. This all kinda ties together the threads of my life to date, including my introduction (or re-introduction) to Zen. I'm learning that all things really are impermanent, there is no constant except change, all things pass, fade and drop off the face of our awareness. Still, I need many more years of meditation I think before I'll be truly able to say that I'm not sad to see all these changes. I wish I could bury my head in the sand for another year, but alas, that's not to be. Happy Birthday to me, indeed.