Virtual Zen

Zen mind, beginner's mind... My life as a beginning Zen student, and everything else that falls away...

9.07.2004

Man, I can't wait...

So, there's this supposed "change" that is meant to be coming this month. According to Astrologyzone.com, the change that is coming is the biggest change to happen in 12 years. Man, 12 years ago I was still at Georgian College in Barrie, going to school for Business Administration - Accounting, getting laid for the first time, getting to know my way around the "normal" world (after being sheltered in the gifted program in school) and most importantly, how to drink vast quantities of beer. I also got my first job at Revenue Canada, made a huge amount of friends and started realizing the truth about myself. Now I find myself coming nearly full circle - and it makes sense that it would do just that. I've spent some time back in Barrie, I'm back doing collections, I'm learning how to deal with and accept people from very different walks of life and I'm finding myself questioning all kinds of things in life now. I think the most important change that has already happened is that I've found Zen as a way of coping with who I am, these constant desires for MORE. I desire all kinds of things at the same time I reject them. I want that really amazing place to live, yet realize that all I truly need is a safe, calm clean place to lay my head at the end of the day. I want that car that looks good, drives well and is a sharp set of wheels, something I'd be blingin' in - but at the same time transportation is a simple matter sometimes requiring more patience than I actually have. If anything the changes Zen is making within is that I'm turning inside out. My mum was funny this weekend in that she even said that she wouldn't be surprised if I ended up in a Zen monastery in Japan next year. Neither would I frankly. I don't think its something I can do full time in the traditional sense in that I still really want a partner in life, a mate, someone whom I can share my existence with, and support in walking the path. Perhaps the San Francisco Zen Centre can help with that. Anyway I've really gotta get back to work. Man, I really love this being able to post from email. :-)

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