Moving day has arrived...

Hi there... Well, I've done it - I've taken the plunge and gotten my own domain and webhosting where I'm running the latest and greatest version of MovableType. I won't be updating this site anymore - so please come visit me at http://www.virtualzen.net or my photoblog site at http://www.virtualzen.net/photo

Happy Birthday again!

So, after a great weekend full of much drinking and carousing* I got a call from Dad today. I had asked for a domain name and some webhosting for my birthday. Well, the call came that I should go ahead and charge it to their creditcard. Set it up today, but still waiting on the confirmation and setup instructions to come. Doteasy hosting is where I got the hosting from - only $25 a year for the domain name and $7.95 a month for hosting. Gives me 100 email accounts, 1GB of storage, full compatibility with MoveableType databases etc. Its going to be kickass when I get it all up and running - now I just have to figure out how the heck to actually install all this stuff. I'm going to keep the Blogger site going until I get the rest of it setup, but I'm pretty sure I'll be able to cope for now. I do like the interface for Blogger but there's a lot more I want to be able to do with it, including the photoblog - and once I get the moblog stuff set up I'll use the cameraphone that Karl and Robyn have (and I'll most likely buy from them). This is gonna rock.

Cape Tribulation

Cape Tribulation 1
Originally uploaded by virtualzen.

I took this a year and a half ago on my trip to Australia. I've uploaded a good bunch of photos to the Flickr website to check out.
Also, I only need 2 more people to sign up so I can get a free pro account and get a full 1GB monthly upload limit so anyone who wants to check out Flickr, please email me for an invitation!

Zen Garden

Zen Garden
Originally uploaded by tomeppy.

Lovely, really lovely.

Hmmmm....

Dharmapalooza 2004: Vidyuddeva
Originally uploaded by coolmel.

Now, what I need to find is a guy like this - good looking, shaved head, computer guy, Zen priest - all the things I'd be looking for in a man...

Buddha...

buddha's head
Originally uploaded by kryphtonized.

is seemingly trapped in the earthly realm here. Gotta love this Flickr thing!

Benefits of working here

At work today we had a staff meeting about the benefits plan and what it covers and doesn't cover and stuff. I asked the guy why it was that we didn't get Zyban covered or other smoking cessation programs when its been proven that quitting smoking can reduce the amount of healthcare related charged substantially. He basically said that studies have shown that for insurance companies the costs are yearly for even single subscribers of Zyban, the patch etc. There has been apparently no conclusive evidence that these methods increase the chances of quitting permanently.

Not that it matters really now that I've been done with it for over a month.

Go me!

Working long hours...

So here's the thing... I've been working these kinda crazy hours at my job due to the fact that I've gotta hit my targets before I go on holiday on the 24th. I've already put in some overtime and have to get my ass in on Saturday. The only major side effect of it is that I've got NO energy left at the end of the day to deal with The Mouth. In a good way though, I have one nice new thing I got at Eliot's bookshop on Yonge St. Gotta dig in... Later... Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that I spotted a celebrity yesterday on my way home from work, Rannie from Photojunkie and GTABloggers fame! (at least I think it was him)... If it wasn't for the fact that I was so exhausted from work I would have just said hi - just making note of it for future missed opportunities to say hi references.

San Francisco Zen Centre

Buddha found on San Francisco Zen Center website. I'm thinking I'd really like to spend a good three months there or something... Got a call from Jeff (Mark's partner) tonight. Man, I'm really glad I called him. He's such a nice guy and its nice to make a new friend that I like and is a decent guy. There's so many creeps out there that its nice to actually talk to someone with something interesting to contribute to a conversation. Anyway, it turns out that he used to live around the corner from the San Francisco Zen Centre. Talk about serendipitous! More on this later, I'm sure...

Man, I can't wait...

So, there's this supposed "change" that is meant to be coming this month. According to Astrologyzone.com, the change that is coming is the biggest change to happen in 12 years. Man, 12 years ago I was still at Georgian College in Barrie, going to school for Business Administration - Accounting, getting laid for the first time, getting to know my way around the "normal" world (after being sheltered in the gifted program in school) and most importantly, how to drink vast quantities of beer. I also got my first job at Revenue Canada, made a huge amount of friends and started realizing the truth about myself. Now I find myself coming nearly full circle - and it makes sense that it would do just that. I've spent some time back in Barrie, I'm back doing collections, I'm learning how to deal with and accept people from very different walks of life and I'm finding myself questioning all kinds of things in life now. I think the most important change that has already happened is that I've found Zen as a way of coping with who I am, these constant desires for MORE. I desire all kinds of things at the same time I reject them. I want that really amazing place to live, yet realize that all I truly need is a safe, calm clean place to lay my head at the end of the day. I want that car that looks good, drives well and is a sharp set of wheels, something I'd be blingin' in - but at the same time transportation is a simple matter sometimes requiring more patience than I actually have. If anything the changes Zen is making within is that I'm turning inside out. My mum was funny this weekend in that she even said that she wouldn't be surprised if I ended up in a Zen monastery in Japan next year. Neither would I frankly. I don't think its something I can do full time in the traditional sense in that I still really want a partner in life, a mate, someone whom I can share my existence with, and support in walking the path. Perhaps the San Francisco Zen Centre can help with that. Anyway I've really gotta get back to work. Man, I really love this being able to post from email. :-)

No one likes the doctor...

Just got back from my checkup and the doctor says that pretty much everything is fine. I had to get a tetanus shot booster but he spared me the rectal exam cause he says let's check out your bloodwork first. If that comes back strange in any way he'll get it all sorted. I'm also getting my first HIV test in quite some time. Now I know that I've been really safe with sex and haven't done anything high risk, so I'm ok with it, but I'm still really concerned that something really bad might be lurking in my bloodstream. I'm not so sexually active so its not like I'm an old had at getting HIV tests, but its important that I get this one done now before I get involved with anyone. Other than that, he says everything is good - and he's really happy that I quit smoking. He's not that concerned about my weight but says that as much as possible I should exercise etc. Yada yada... I know this already. So there you go - nothing to worry about.

Home again...

Man, what a weekend... I'm really glad to be home in that I've got all my "things" around me. My iBook, and my bed. Yeah, I gotta put up with the other guy, but I'll survive. The 2 beers I had at Simon and Stacy's tonight kinda helps that one. I've also had another 2 pints out with Peter at the Churchmouse & Firkin. Didn't wanna get TOO messy seeing as I've got my physical tomorrow morning. I really am NOT looking forward to the "cough and turn" test. I know its something I have to put with, but at least I'd expect a drink or two first. Okay, I take back the sentiment previous noted about putting up with the other guy. Doesn't he ever fucking realize that I'm fucking BUSY??? Does not the fact that I'm turned away, working on a computer and not even paying attention even register with this guy? I mean, honestly! Kay, I'm done bitching now. Back to getting ready for bed.

Birthdays...

So, its my birthday in 24 days... I'm going to be 31 this year. I always like to take time each year around my birthday and reflect on what the last year has meant to me, what I've accomplished or not attempted. Last year was a great big whirlwind tour of my life - living in Melbourne, having my parents come to visit, going through the angst of AFL finals, working at Dun & Bradstreet and making a great living at a really very easy and simple job. I loved my life, my friends, my day to day everything. I officially turned 30 with Kat and Kip at some grotty pub in Melbourne where we got well pissed on beer and manky champagne - and then had to get up to do things with Mum and Dad. All in all it was a great time. This year... Well, a somewhat different tale, I'm (kinda) afraid to report. I'm living in a pretty deranged environment that is not conducive to living the kind of life I want to lead, working at a job I don't care for (but I'm unfortunately good at), see less of the friends I want to see and have lost a great deal of my inspiration for what was good in my life. I'm at times lonely, withdrawn and crabby with the world. On the other hand I have quit smoking, paid off nearly all my bills, had one of my photos appear on the Oprah.com website, had some interesting and fun times with some people along the way and I'm really ready for whatever the next stage of my life will be. This all kinda ties together the threads of my life to date, including my introduction (or re-introduction) to Zen. I'm learning that all things really are impermanent, there is no constant except change, all things pass, fade and drop off the face of our awareness. Still, I need many more years of meditation I think before I'll be truly able to say that I'm not sad to see all these changes. I wish I could bury my head in the sand for another year, but alas, that's not to be. Happy Birthday to me, indeed.

Long weekends...

are seemingly made for people other than me. I tend to get a bit wound up when I have too much time to myself for some reason. if I don't have to be in a particular place by a particular time I just kinda fall apart. Anyway, its been a pretty decent weekend this go round. Friday night I came up to Newmarket to the parentals (mainly to get away from the shenanigans sure to be happening in the loft with Adam & Co., but also to escape the heat and smog for a while). Went out to dinner at Canaan, chinese which has definitely improved over the years. Food was fantastic. After dinner I spent time setting up this new blog and surfing around - chatting with a few people online and generally doing nothing. Saturday I didn't get up to much during the day other than to shave my head again, chat more online, talk with Mum for ages and drink copious amounts of tea. Peter came for dinner and we went to visit our friend Amy and to check out her new Pontiac Vibe. Now its not necessarily a car I would consider (being a GM product and all), but I have to say that its really pretty cool! Nice seats, kinda sporty, and great visability - no wonder all the olds are buying them up! ;-) Anyway, went to visit Karl and Robyn after that and when they were ready for bed we went up to Barrie to Club C'est La Vie again. This guy I'd been talking to online met up with me there - and all I can say is that he was a perfect gentleman, I had a great time, nothing happened (which is good seeing as he's a bit too young for me), but I hope that we'll get to be decent friends. Haven't heard back from him since then, but ah, what is youth if not an excuse to flit around in the world? Maybe if the age difference were less I'd be more inclined to be concerning myself with what might have been, but not at this stage. But boy was it nice to spend a night out with a decent guy, very good looking and really nice at the same time. Sunday was pretty good too - after I got over my hangover... Read a lot, puttered round the house, had steak and salad for dinner and went over to Karl and Robyn's for tea (Tim Horton's steeped tea is amazing). Their friend John was visiting (nice guy, so not what I'd expect from them for some reason) and then thier friend Dow came over. Man, the discussions we had were so cool - talking about marijuana legalization, medical uses, how to grow it, all kinds of shit I'd never even thought of came up. All I need to say is that nearly every day I spend time with my brother I come away with a newfound respect for the guy and the person he has become. For someone who I think most were ready to write off as the blacksheep of the family, he's really become someone I'm proud to call my brother. Now if only I could get my own shit together! :-) So, today - Monday... The last long weekend day of the summer... The weather is cool, only 20 or so, a bit overcast... I'm spending it inside trying to get my life off the .Mac service since I don't think its worth the absolute fortune they're charging for it. I've set up a free webhosting service for my images to go on the blog, I've set up a new Nikonnet account to serve for my online photostorage area and I've got my Gmail account for email. All I need now is a domain name (which I've asked Mum and Dad for the birthday present this year) and I'm good to go. Time for more tea...

Saturday, 4 weeks later...

So, here I am, 4 weeks to the day after quitting smoking... How am I doing? Well, pretty damn well if I do say so myself. I've had one or two ciggies whilst being VERY intoxicated and suffered no ill effects. I've not had one sober thought of actually smoking again and I'm quite happy to report that my lungs have finally purged all those years of crud. Man, that was a treat, lemme tell you! Thanks to everyone who supported me in my quest, the kind words made it all the easier. So, its Saturday of Labour Day long weekend here and I'm just waiting for Peter to arrive for dinner. Mum made macaroni and cheese so we're going to have that for dinner. We're going out to Mississauga to some gay bar then most likely up to Barrie to C'est la Vie. Interesting little bar that we had fun at last weekend. Might be fun, could be a waste of time, but Peter and I always have a good time out. This cowboy I've been chatting with on MSN might be there as well, he's a total hottie. Don't know why he keeps chatting with me when I'm sure there are heaps of other guys he could chat with - but its a pleasure to talk with him. He's cute, sweet - and real from what I can tell online.

So now I can post from anywhere?

Man, I'm SO glad I moved to Blogger from LJ. WAY more customization, happiness abounds...

the newest object of desire

Apple - iMac G5 I cannot believe that I have lived until now without this in my life. I am now complete.

and so it begins...

I've begun to study Zen. There. Its said. I read somewhere today a quote, perfection is not knowing when to stop adding things, its when to stop removing them. I think this involves me somehow. I have begun the process of reintegrating things into my life. For instance, I have pared my existence down to the ownership of one bed, various items of clothing, my iBook, my iPod, my Nikon, a few books and various lamps. My friends are now few but cherished. My family is made up of 5 people, two not related by blood. My job is one which doesn't do anything for me except pay my debt collectors and keep a roof over my head. Yeah, I'd say I'm done removing things.